im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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