There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
