You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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