I hate all girls vehemently.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
