So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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