Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
it glows. i had to have it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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