I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
