My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize