I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
