I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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