Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
