Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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