We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i came on her dog
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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