at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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