just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
