Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He better not be in your backpack
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
