If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
