I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You took a bar mat shot.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
