it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
