Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just pee around me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
