First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
