I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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