Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize