i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
