you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
