Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
