So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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