My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
