Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
