is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
