hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
