Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
