I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
