Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
