This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
