i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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