If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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