I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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