Moan for me like Helen Keller
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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