Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
