your thong is hanging out like whoa
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
