Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
