I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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