Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
