At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
