who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
