Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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