I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
third nipple confirmed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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