discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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