Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
