I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
honey bunches of taint.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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