I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
