I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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