At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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