Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
