hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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