We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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