hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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