Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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