Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize